I don't know 2.09

There are things in our life that we really don't know. Although we come across that word much often and we think that we know about it but in essence we really don't know. We don't know the meaning of such word. The implication of that thing. The purpose for it. And the actions to represent it. For my part, I don't know still why do we study. I have been to schools for approximately ten years already. Starting from nursery to secondary education. But still, studying is really out of the question. So, how did I really pass those exams and the like. Well, if cheating is one way. And the other one is lucking guessing.

For now, that I realized that there are two things that come acrossed my mind when I think about studying. The relevant question is how far would you study a thing. One side would say that you study things sufficiently or enough. And, on the other hand, you study all of the things that evolves on it.

On the first side, when you just studied enough for you to know. That would be challenging isn't it? You would expect surprises to come on your way. And by then that you knowledge reached its limit and you really don't know what the answer, that it the time you would think thoroughly. And try to analyze things. Try to see a pattern. And, eventually, if you are lucky you would get the right thing. And the wrong one if you are unlucky. The bad side is you are prone to mistakes for you are uncertain with some answers for your knowledge is just limited.

On the other hand, if you study all of it. Every paradigm. Every point of view. All of it. Then, although it is time consuming and hassle but the trade off of it is that you are confident already about what you learnt. You won't panick anymore. And you are somewhat overpower your enemy. The bad thing about this is that it isn't anymore exciting for you know already what will happen and thus it is boring on your part.

To give you a picture, imagine that there is a war going on. Who would you think would win. An army who studies everything about their enemy. Well, after all, the only successful war that took place is the one when the intelligence is so great isn't it?

I don't know 1.09

There are things in our life that we really don't know. Although we come across that word much often and we think that we know about it but in essence we really don't know. We don't know the meaning of such word. The implication of that thing. The purpose for it. And the actions to represent it. For my part, I don't know still what sacrifice is. I don't know its purpose and reason for doing it. And, most of all, I don't usually do it. But, today, during the campaign slogan of a candidate for presidency for our country, I heard that, in their slogan, that there is fruit in every sacrifices. I actually don't know about it for I for one don't do sacrifices. And, last night, during a birthday party of a friend of mine. Two friends of mine told me to do some sacrifices on my life. They are sacrifices for me for one, the things they want me to do are not the things I usually do. And second, the things they want me to do are also the things that I really don't want to do.

First off, they want me to wear shoes everytime I would go out from our house. I usually wear slippers when I go out for school, downtown, and other places out from our house. I wear slippers at home as well as I wear slippers outside our home. They asked me to wear shoes instead of slippers when going out for it is untidy to see a guy wearing slippers.

Second, they asked me to trim my hair. Right now, I have a long hair for a typical guy. I really want to lengthen my hair. But, for them, for they are girls, find it untidy and not good looking for a guy to have long hair. So, I should trim it as soon as class starts.

Third, they want me to focus on my debating skills. They really want to see me talk sense in a conversation. It is because during gatherings like party, all I keep of talking about is Dota and frisbee and anime. That's it. So, if ever I go on with debate in our school, then they would preferably love it.

Lastly, they want me to focus on my studies. This is for sure the only thing that I really don't usually do. I hate it. But, since they asked me to do it. Then, I just give it a try.

All in all, they are trying to do some makeover over me. They want me to be an intellectuall hottie in school. :) And now that I realized about it. I would try those things they asked me to do.

anime experience 4.09

"Did you know that a sword's more powerful if you swing it with both hands instead of just one?" by Zaraki Kenpachi

This is true physically but how could you relate it in our trials in life wherein we are tested emotional, spiritually and mentally. For me, it is true. The hand of determination and the hand of interested should hold together the sword of dream. That is my philosophy of life this year as well a my new year's resolution. In short, I must be determined and interested with the things I entered in to.

What kind of power would it be if you would just hold your sword of dream with only the hand of determination? The power of your sword of dream is not that powerful. You are just wasting your resources and time. Remember, if you are not interested on something and yet you keep on doing it, you are just wasting your resources. That is because you don't have any direction on where you are going or a destination. Take for instance, you are a driver, and you don't know where you are going but you are determined to go somewhere so you ended up roaming around the city. You go to one place to the other. You go to this place and if you don't want it, you tranfer to another place. You keep on moving until eventually you run out of gasoline. So, in this part, you are just wasting up gasoline of your car for going somewhere you really don't know where you are going to.

The power of your sword of dream is not also powerful if only the hand of interested will hold it. You may be interested on something but you are not determined on it. It is like you want to be a valedictorian in your class but you are not determined to do it. You just want it, that's all. You would not do your best in your studies. In the end, you ended up just an ordinary student with a passing grade. You are not a valedictorian anymore. Your dream was not reached.

But, if you hold the sword of dream both with your hand of determination and interested, then that would be very powerful. You would really attained your dream. Using the previous example, if you really want to be a valedictorian then you must be determined to do so as well as interested with it. To answer the question, why would I be interested on this thing, you should know what would you gain in doing it. For instance, being a valedictorian would give opportunity for you to apply for scholarships in the college. Stuffs like those should be considered in order to motivate you and become interested. To answer the question, why would I be determined on this thing, you should know what would people think about me. For instance, being a valedictorian would mean that you are really smart and hardworking. You are an excellent kind of student. And if you want others to think like that to you, then go ahead and pursue that dream.

In life, in order to be successful, determination and interest should go hand in hand. Absence of one would make you successful still but you could achieve it for a long time that other might say you are unsuccessful already. Time should be considered in success too.

anime experience 3.09

"You should stay away from those you don't wish to lose" by C.C. in Code Geas

This statement is quite contradicting isn't it? If you don't want to lose someone, then you should stay away. But isn't staying away also in a way losing someone? I really wonder why C.C. said this to Lelouch. But, for my part, I do agree with C.C. and that is coming from my experience.

There's this lovely girl that I really like. From the moment we met each other, I got attracted to her and interested also. So, I hanged out with her. Asked her out. Talked to her. Conversed with her. I do everything just to get to know her. And then we clicked. We shared each others thoughts, dreams and some other stuffs. We stayed together for quite some time. We were classmates also at that time.

On the next semester, that is the time when we are not classmates anymore though we still see each other. We still do the things we did before but not that frequent. I really tried my best to get closer to her. I wanted to let our friendship be the same as before. I didn't not stay away from her. I am always at her side by then. Until, there's this time that we became mortal enemies. Our friendship was lost. We don't see each other already and if we do, we don't mind at all.

That thing is really regrettable. And every time I see her, I still do some wishful thinking that we could be friends as well as lovers in the long run. Unfortunately, that would be impossible for what we are now is lost forever.

anime experience 2.09

"Everyone dumps their pity on me. They don't know how much it hurts me. It's like stomping on an open wound." by Nnoitra


In our daily life, there are times that people would pity us. And it is normal to be pitied for it is an acceptance of inferiority or weakness on our part. But there are some people who don't want to be pitied for it is painful inside aside from accepting our weaknesses. There are also some people who don't give pity at all. They would just finish us in a way we could not move on. And I really don't know which is good. To be pitied or not to be pitied. To dump a pity on someone or not to give mercy at all.

But for my personal experience which I would like to share in my anime experience is that I would like to share the things that people dump their pity on me. I do agree with Nnoitra that it is really painful inside. It is like stomping on an open wound. It is an admittance of one's weakness. People with so much pride would feel it so painful. It is as if they could not bear it. I, for once, was pitied by a teacher. He let me pass my subject even though I don't really deserve. He even told me that I must do good in my studies the next time so that he would not regret what he did to me. Unfortunately, I didn't make his hopes up. I failed on the next subject. And, for sure, he is also feel sad about it. And regretted it.

I feel insulted at first when the teacher gave mercy on me. It is like they don't know what my capacities are. I once believed before that I am really a better student than my classmates. And, letting me pass that subject was just something I could not take. But, my beliefs were wrong. I was just too prideful that time. I really don't know my real capacities. I just assume I have one. And now, I come up with a realization that I am really a weak person. And I am so thankful that the teacher let me pass the subject. In that way, I would not realized it at all. And this would give me a chance to grow stronger.

Being pitied is not a bad thing at all as long as you humble yourself. But, being prideful, mercy is just a knife that stabs your heart for you cannot accept the weaknesses within you.

My Inspirational Message for Myself

When God is going to do something wonderful, He begins with difficulty.
If it is going to be something very wonderful, He begins with impossibility.
Always believe and never quit.

My Ring of Friends

Right now there are two ladies that are always on mind. We have been together for a month now. We click right away at the moment we met. And, honestly right now, I am addicted to them. I could not stand it if I couldn't talk to them or see them each day. That is why every time I have a free time , I would look for them. Fortunately, we do have a common free time that we could see each other almost every day. And even if we could be together for just few minutes, I would cherish that time that I have for them. I would also keep on communicating them through text messages. Greet them good morning everyday as long as I have load. I would do anything within my power to be always with them.

I am not a two-timer if that is what you think for I could see no attraction between the three of us. We are just good friends. And they are good friends of mine. There is no intimacy that involved in the three of us but I did confess my feeling to one of the two ladies but she rejected me for she just wants me to be a good friend of her. But after the confession, we turned out to be best of friends. And our bond with each other grew strong and livelier. And I am so glad about that.

Although, I could say that I am attracted to both of them for those two are beautiful in my eyes, but the attraction would remain as friend and nothing more. I am very cautious with my actions for I don't want to treat one greatly than the other one. I don't want to be partial but instead impartial and fair. I don't want them to feel that I neglect someone and give special treatment to the other one. That is not good for our friendship. I would also say that our friendship is still young and it still needs to be nurture and grow. But nevertheless, I am so grateful for these two ladies that have come into my life.

Thank you so much.