anime experience 2.09

"Everyone dumps their pity on me. They don't know how much it hurts me. It's like stomping on an open wound." by Nnoitra


In our daily life, there are times that people would pity us. And it is normal to be pitied for it is an acceptance of inferiority or weakness on our part. But there are some people who don't want to be pitied for it is painful inside aside from accepting our weaknesses. There are also some people who don't give pity at all. They would just finish us in a way we could not move on. And I really don't know which is good. To be pitied or not to be pitied. To dump a pity on someone or not to give mercy at all.

But for my personal experience which I would like to share in my anime experience is that I would like to share the things that people dump their pity on me. I do agree with Nnoitra that it is really painful inside. It is like stomping on an open wound. It is an admittance of one's weakness. People with so much pride would feel it so painful. It is as if they could not bear it. I, for once, was pitied by a teacher. He let me pass my subject even though I don't really deserve. He even told me that I must do good in my studies the next time so that he would not regret what he did to me. Unfortunately, I didn't make his hopes up. I failed on the next subject. And, for sure, he is also feel sad about it. And regretted it.

I feel insulted at first when the teacher gave mercy on me. It is like they don't know what my capacities are. I once believed before that I am really a better student than my classmates. And, letting me pass that subject was just something I could not take. But, my beliefs were wrong. I was just too prideful that time. I really don't know my real capacities. I just assume I have one. And now, I come up with a realization that I am really a weak person. And I am so thankful that the teacher let me pass the subject. In that way, I would not realized it at all. And this would give me a chance to grow stronger.

Being pitied is not a bad thing at all as long as you humble yourself. But, being prideful, mercy is just a knife that stabs your heart for you cannot accept the weaknesses within you.