Moment Changed.

Moments ago when I was in school, I wanted to die already. I have been bugged by the things that shouldn't have happened. There are some points in school that I hate. Of course, I love to go to school because I could see new faces around. I could also learn from my classes. And also, I could go sightseeing some beautiful girls in the campus. But, for me, my heart doesn't anymore belong to the school. My heart wants to work already and earn money. Right now, I am feeling excited because this would be my last year of schooling. I will be graduating by March. Unfortunately, I could only finish one course in a matter of six years. I still have another course to finish since I am taking up two majors and that would be expected by the following year. But, what bothers me most is that where could I get money to pay for the tuition the following school year? And also, where could I get money for review and board exam. Those things are on my mind since the start of school and that made me sick and wanted to die. I don't want anymore my parents to support me on this. This is way too much for them. The reason that I stayed in college for quite a long time is mine alone. I decided on it so, I have to take the consequences of my actions. The sad thing is whenever I am reminded about my failure in school, I felt bad about myself. I hated my self that it made me think that I would be better off with out here on Earth. Spending at least ten hours in school would be like spending ten centuries in hell. My mind kept on thinking about "what ifs" situations. Situations such as what if I didn't shifted another course, what if I didn't fail from my major classes, what if I didn't take this course beforehand, etc. These things made me want to die. Amidst all these things, I haven't told anyone about this feeling in me. It has been stored in my soul for 3 years now. So, I think you could imagine the dissatisfaction I had with my life. But, I just couldn't kill my self. Because every time I went home and see my parents, my mind thinks differently. It thinks to stay alive and make a difference. The feeling of wanting to die has turned into wanting to live forevermore. My family is the reason why I am still alive. I want to show them that I am capable of making them happy. I want to prove to them that I am not a burden anymore. I want to tell them that I am proud of what they have taught me. And because of this, a moment has changed.